Sandbars

As you might have noticed from some of our previous blogs, the ocean plays a special role in our lives. Perhaps its consistent rhythm, mystery, or acrobatic wave crashes that possess fragments of our souls all year long—even though we live in New England and only have like three months of good beach days a year. One of its wonders that enthrall any lover are it’s sandbars. There are all different types of sandbars, each of which boast their own unique pleasure. Some sandbars only emerge at low tide as long secretive aisles jutting far out into the remote sea, unveiled by the changing of the tides. These sun beaten ocean sidewalks can be the ideal location for a mid summer stroll with the appropriate lady friend. Both in bathing suits, water all around, playful splashing environment, not many other people around, I’m definitely in my zone. Other sandbars can be reached by boat, or perhaps surfboard—paddling out to an area shallowly concealed by water where the swell is just raging. Spot it from shore, make it happen, go out and catch a few curlers out in the middle of the ocean with your buddies, good night Jim Kite! Or maybe you pull up on your boat, anchor up, plop down some lawn chairs if it’s shallow enough, and watch the sunset with your feet chillin’ in the water and a cold beverage in your hand. Sandbar days in the summer are some of the best of the entire year. If you haven’t got out to one recently, I highly recommend doing so. It’s easy, and they’re some of the most wild, untouched streaks left on planet earth. Sandbars are unreal. 

Getting Your Back Cracked

Does your body ever feel like it is tied up in a knot and you can’t really move too well? This feeling of physical constraint has a short and sweet remedy that requires nothing more than good friend. There are plenty of ways to crack your back, as some prefer just doing the deed themselves, while others would rather have a helpful hand to perform the action. Personally I enjoy lying on my stomach and having someone walk across my back, finding those vulnerable spots on my back that can always go for a nice cracking. Getting your back cracked is an experience that can completely change the way you feel and prepare you for the big things that lie ahead. There are other parts of the human body that are open for cracking but nothing is quite like the physical release that comes from cracking your back. It gets my body going and propels me forward, ready to conquer, much like a lion hunting for its prey, ready to pounce at any given moment. It’s amazing how quickly you can go from being uncomfortable and immobile to being alive as ever, blowing smoke right up your bum. Unless your body is breaking down and cannot handle it, give your back a nice crack and you’ll feel like a new man. Getting your back cracked is unreal.

Hoods

Flipping your hood up over your cold ears and naked head transports you into a personal cocoon. All of a sudden the edges of the hood creep into the peripheries of your vision, changing and reshaping your outlook of the world in front of you. You feel protected, your strut increases with confidence, and soon you feel like you’re on your absolute worst behavior. I’m a whole new type of animal when I’m rocking a hood—no telling what could happen. My brain is in a completely different place. Hoods are not only good for changing up your mindset when out in public, but they can also be stylish, comfy, convenient (given the weather), and they’re sick for cheating. For guys, sometimes you have kind of a dusty hat that you’ve been wanting to rock for some reason but can’t really. Tossing a hood up over that has-been lid can make it look kind of cool again. For girls, you go out to eat breakfast on Sunday morning or whatever, no way anyone wants to see your entire face, please chuck a hood over that messy melon—you may look semi-approachable. Although hoods have many practical uses, they are also incredibly snug, swag, and can easily put you in a sleeping cuddly mood. Even when they’re not on, they’re at your service. The way they droop, resting on your back waiting to be flung up at any moment, they just look cool. Others around who notice your hood, that is not yet up, also anticipate what new aspect it might add to your character, so you’re kind of a wild card. Hoods are unreal. 

Andy Dufresne

Introducing the first “Unreal Guy” of the week, we bring you a man among boys. Those of you who have seen Shawshank Redemption understand just how astonishing Andy Dufresne is. For those who haven’t seen it, you seriously need to FIO. In what some consider the best movie ever produced, we come across a man with intelligence, creativity, and poise we can only dream of. After being sentenced to life in prison for a murder he did not actually commit, Andy doesn’t spend his years complaining but rather uses his smarts to make a name for himself. He does his best to share his wisdom, improving the lives of all those surrounding him, including that bastard warden. Beside his intellectual capacity, the fact that he successfully broke out of prison on his own is mind boggling. I mean who in hell crawls through 500 yards of sewage, holding the droppings of repulsive inmates. You kiddin me guy? Andy Dufresne is an absolute legend and there is no dispute over that. I don’t think he’s ever been wrong, and he is hands down the sharpest prisoner of all time. To this day, I live by the words he uttered to Red just before his escape: “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Andy Dufresne is unreal.

Wings

If you’re into food, then you’re into wings. It really doesn’t take much to love wings, as it is one of those foods that hits the spot for just about everyone. Whether you like drumsticks or flats, watching those wings sizzle, as you strategize to attack the platter of beauty in front of you is a moment of anticipation that can’t be topped. And once you start, you simply cannot stop. Cleaning that meat right off the bone, making sure you get every little piece of chicken in your mouth. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Add some ranch to that and you’re laughing. Woooo you’re in a state far beyond satisfaction. Kick back on a Sunday, throw some football on the TV, and order some wings. Now that’s a day that guarantees happiness. Wings can cause a mess, so make sure you have a lot of napkins handy. And you might want a fresh soda or a beer to go along if you like them spicy. Give yourself an afternoon to pig out with some buddies and unleash the beast inside of you. Wings are unreal.

Naps

We all eventually get rundown in the daily cycles of our lives that we repeatedly run through. Designated time to kick it and recharge the batteries isn’t necessarily given in our society today, it needs to be created. It’s a part of working on yourself, the most important work.  Arguably one of the best things you can do with a little free time in your busy schedule is take a nap. Cuddling up with your stuffed animals, temporarily detaching from the chaos of real responsibility, and catching some quick Z’s can be the ultimate day saver—aggressively propelling you forward into the dark night. Sometimes you may have to deal with the post-nap groggy attitude for a few minutes, but slam a coffee and you’re good. It’s also proven that we have wilder dreams when taking naps for short periods of time. So, see where your mind takes you on this remote stint, enjoy it, then rise back up with new drive to what you took a rest from before. Naps are unreal. 

ChapStick

Some of us can’t stop licking our lips. In this dry weather, they start to crack, potentially becoming very vulnerable, in some cases flakey, and maybe even bloody—it’s gross. Nothing ruins a night quicker than when a friend makes a hilarious joke, you quickly burst into wide mouthed laughter, and the side of your lip just splits. You don’t even feel like talking to anyone anymore and you just want to go home. Although it may seem pretty hopeless, there is a way around it. You’re either a ChapStick guy or you’re not. If you’re not, you just don’t get it. ChapStick allows those of us who need it on a daily basis to live the lives we want to live. It minimizes distractions, and helps you keep your eyes on the prize. For girls, investing in a silky, good smelling, moisture enhancing ChapStick is definitely a positive decision. For boys, it’s not cool to look like someone's been blowing a fan directly on your mouth for three days straight in the arctic tundra. Smile wide, stop licking your lips, and take on the howling winds of the area we live in with ease. I used to eat ChapStick. ChapStick is unreal. 

Body Surfing

With the sun starting to shine in the final stretch of what has been a brutally cold winter, all that comes to mind is summer and the endless activities it brings. After finally stepping foot on the beach and jumping into the big blue, you realize that complete refreshment is something we lose during the winter season. Bodysurfing is one of those activities that brings extreme joy to your life, returning you to a point where you feel entirely in touch and one with the ocean. Zipping through those waves with your head buried and hands strung out in front, nothing else matters. All you care about is riding that internal high as long as possible, letting the water work the magic while you are there solely to enjoy the cruise. Anyone who has ever bodysurfed in their life can appreciate the adrenaline rush I speak of. It’s just a cool feeling. After that wave beaches you on the shore and you strut out of the water, body glowing, hair blazing from that briny sea salt, you’re all the way turnt up. Body surfing gets your mind right, it’s unreal.

Clean Sheets

Clean sheets are the best because you can sleep naked in them the first night and not feel weird. It’s such a pain putting them back on your bed but the moment you finish everything, get to strip off every piece of clothing you have on, and jump in for the remainder of the night, is like getting home after a long trip out on the road. The smell, supportive warm texture, and lanky tuck job brings you right back and sends you off for a tumbling slumber. It’s important for you to clean your sheets, you keep your edge.  Don’t want to become a melting potato, could get eaten. Clean sheets are unreal. 

Ottomans

Sometimes we fail to give the deserved recognition to the simplest things that make our lives a hell of a lot better. Sitting on a couch with no ottoman in front to rest your feet on is borderline ludicrous. How are you supposed to get comfy and fully relaxed in a fixated upright position, with your feet planted on the floor in front of you. Lash out, slouch down, sink in, find your groove, and get an ottoman to put your feet up on after a long day. The ottoman to a couch is the jelly to peanut butter. They can make a great surface as well if you ever find yourself panicking when that bowl of soup is getting a little too hot for your hands to handle. Some even come with a removable top so that they can serve as a chest to store items in. C'man man, do yourself a solid and invest in an ottoman. It will change your life, I guarantee it. Ottomans are unreal.

Pockets

Whoever doesn’t appreciate the convenience of pockets must be some type of clown. Pockets carry the loose parts of ourselves that we constantly need. They are great for holding your wallet, phone, keys, gum, skittles, and anything else you feel is important to have on you. While pockets themselves are brilliant, they are even better when they come along with a comfy pair of shorts or sweatpants. Pockets in gym shorts, sly pockets in sweatpants, deep pockets in jeans, and even sneaky shirt or sweatshirt pockets can be so practical and handy. Our society as a whole completely takes for granted the convenience that pockets provide, as they hold and keep those belongings we so often misplace. Pockets are unreal.

Tiger Balm

Tiger balm is a fiery muscle rub that can be applied to any achy or sore region of the body that it is needed on. Tiger balm is an exceptional product because of how strong it is. It's pretty bomb. These days, when you go and buy something without ever testing it out, you generally gauge the product you’re purchasing off of a few things like the name, label, container it comes in, etc. Tiger balms container, color of the rub, name, and overall presence on the shelf at CVS jumps out at any sore athlete as the obvious choice. Somehow the marketing team behind this product has tapped into the brain of the modern day consumer--but it's not a scam. When you put it on, you feel like you have just been rubbed down with some type of homemade Himalayan mountain paste concocted in the most powerful of old school monk monasteries around. As Icey Hot is the typical choice in this region of life, the burn tiger balm gives is unparalleled, and if you want to quit it with the child's play, this rub is next level. Tiger balm is unreal.

Candles

Talk about good vibes. There’s nothing better than walking into a quiet room, subtlety lit with a candle or two. If you’re looking to set the tone and spice things up a little bit, investing in a candle is the play. While they trigger your senses pretty intensely, candles also call for a romantic time. You can’t tell me your girl doesn’t feel even a little bit sexually aroused when she walks into a candle lit room. Mmm just thinking about watching a movie, cuddled up with a lady friend and a pine needle candle lit in the cold winter makes me smile. Candles are unreal.